Peanut, the Analytical Puppydog released this statement through her publicist:I'd like to take this time to clear up any misconceptions about my sexuality and gender, as it seems there's been some confusion. For the record, I am female. That's right, I squat--I don't hike a leg (pardon the vulgarity). Yes, my collar and leash are blue, but only because my daddy couldn't stand the indignity of carrying a pink leash. Moreover, although I am attracted to boy dogs (and ONLY boy dogs), I choose to remain celibate, as I am 1)unmarried and 2)incapable of bearing puppies. And yes, I'm a natural blonde.
Sources close to Peanut reveal that she is deeply saddened by the allegations. "She's like, totally broken up about it," one pal reveals. "She and Taz, like, hardly know each other. I mean, they've sniffed each other a few times, but this whole thing has been blown totally out of proportion." Another source, speaking on condition of anonymity, expressed the depth of Peanut's sadness: "She hasn't bathed in days. She just lays there, chewing on her Nylabone," says the source. "She hardly even leaves the house except to potty."
Yet, Peanut's family insists she's taking the whole incident in stride. "Peanut's a resilient girl," her mommy says. "She's not going to let this get her down or keep her from accomplishing her goals. She's staying busy learning new tricks, and she's been doing some modeling for Outward Hound sportswear. We're just so proud of our little peanutty-buddy, oh yes we are! oh yes we are, little nutter-butter!"
2 comments:
Not a writer would like to sincerely apologize for the mistaken gender of "Peanutty buddy" and for false accusations of relations between her and Taz. Not a writer hopes no serious damage was done and that we can all evenutally move past this.
I just gave myself a cramp in my side from laughing so hard!!!!!!!!!!
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