620 Mystery Lane is a picturesque two-story Colonial Revival-style home built in 1898 and renovated in 2001, at which time it was divided into three apartments. Apartment A is home to a young married couple and their inquistive nine-month old Beagle-mix puppy, Peanut. Newcomers to Hodge-Cook House, the newlyweds are quite curious about their charmingly quirky neighbors.
Apartment C is inhabited by a mysterious gentleman in his late 30s/early 40s and an aging lhasa apso, name unknown, who approxmates a small dust-mop in size, gait, and overall appearance. Gentleman C, somewhat handsome with a touch of dignified gray at his temples, rarely entertains visitors and leaves his residence only occasionally and for short intervals. If he is employed, one must assume he works from home.
Apartment B (upstairs), is occupied, curiously, by Gentleman C's MOTHER, approximately 2-4 cats of various colorations who keep vigil in the east-facing dormer window, and a fluffy black schipperke named Taz. Kindly Madam B is afflicted with an arthritic condition and an incorrigible set of false teeth. Taz is afflicted by the exuberant Beagle next door, with whom he is most obviously annoyed.
Observations:
Gentleman C and Madam B are occasionally observed perching in almost silent repose, respecive pets in tow, on Gentleman C's porch, alongside his small hibachi grill and veritable jungle of potted plants. A proclivity to gardening seems to run in the family, and the exterior of Hodge-Cook House is grandly adorned with all manner of shurbbery, creeping vines, flowering plants, and a small but robust vegetable garden nestled between the sidewalk and parking lot. In mid-May, the vegetable garden yielded several fine heads of lettuce and two sturdy tomato vines, which, to the amazement of Apartment A's new tennants, rotted, unharvested, in the ground. The Beagle pup finds the unusual garden to be an excellent hiding place, where, under cover of dense foliage, she can carefully investigate the perimeter of Gentleman C's abode.
Gentleman C often dons cut-off Levi's 501s.
The residents of Apartment A frequently (and at odd hours) hear the angst-ridden tones of alternative rock drifting through the walls of Hodge-Cook House. They have yet to determine the source.
An Odd Occurrence:
At approximately 7:45 AM on a Monday morning several months past, the young woman in Apartment A was startled to discover a shabbily-clad man on her doorstep when she opened the door to leave for work. The man apologized for startling her and remarked that he must have had the wrong apartment. Indeed. As it turned out, the man had come in search of Gentleman C, who was not at home at the time and whose name he could not even recall until prompted, somewhat cautiously, by the young woman. As he departed, the man remarked, cryptically, "Hey, when you see him, tell him [Johnny] came by." She did not.
Who was this man? What did he want? Why was he unable to remember the name of the person he'd come to see? Where was Gentleman C at 7:45 in the morning?
Help _The_Analyst solve THE MYSTERY OF HODGE-COOK HOUSE! Who are Gentleman C and Madam B, and what's up with them? The author of the best explanation wins _The_Analyst's undying admiration and appreciation!
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Let me begin by explaining that one of your assumptions is incorrect. Madam B is not actually Gentleman C's mother. In fact, Madam B is not even a she. Closer inspection will reveal that Madam B is acually Mister B, his gender concealed by bad hair, a proclivity for feline companionship, and man-boobs.
You see, Mister B and Gentleman C were actually cellmates at Leavenworth Prison for 15 years. They were released at approximately the same time and went their separate ways. However, both soon realized that after living so close to each other for so many years, they couldn't stand being apart from each other.
So they moved into the Hodge-Cook house, both agreeing to rent their own apartments, so as not to draw attention smack dab in the middle of the Bible Belt.
At this new location they could continue to cultivate their mutual gardening hobby, although they did forget that there was no longer a warden to come along and harvest their tomatoes.
Often times, they sat on the porch, silently reflecting on their years of hard time, the only sound being the sizzle of steak on a hibachi grill they bought at the Family Dollar for $9.99.
One day, their old friend from Cellblock D came to see them after being paroled. He had heard they were at the Hodge-Cook House, but wasn't sure which apartment, or if Gentleman C was still using the same alias as before. When an Apartment A tenant walked out on the half-naked visitor, he panicked, not wanting to give away any clues to the intensely-private Gentleman C's past.
So where was Gentleman C at 7:45am? He was on the way home from a gig in Stutgart with Mister B, with whom he is in a Hall and Oates cover band called "Maneaters." Which, by the way, is also why you hear music throught the walls at weird times.
Hopefully, this will shed a little light on the situation. Let me know if you have any questions.
Washburn's got it all wrong. Here's the real story:
Gentleman C lost his father at an early age, so he was brought up an only child by just his mother, Madam B. The young boy quickly took the role as the man of the house, always helping his mother with odd jobs and taking care of her (b/c part of her died along with her husband). The boy's mother loved him dearly--he was her sole reason for living.
Until one day, during his last year of high school, Gentleman C finally gave in to the urge that he'd been pushing back for so long and brought home a date--a boy date. Thinking his mother was gone to the store, Gentleman C and his boy lover skipped to his back bedroom and embarked on some afternoon fun. It was mid-romp that Madam B arrived back home from the store and burst into the room only to find her precious boy in bed with another boy. Once again, part of her died.
Since that day, Gentleman C has been filled with guilt at what his mother caught him doing. He shoved that urge back down again, swearing he would never see or speak to his boy lover again. He committed his life to his mother--always taking care of her and trying to regain her love.
As the years went on, the mother still could not forgive her son. She just couldn't get that image out of her head. She felt she had no reason left to live and just let herself go to shambles. Her teeth rotted; he bought her dentures. She was lonely; he brought her cats. Her old age and arthritis started setting in; he bought her a dog, Taz, to try to keep her young. But still, she mopes. The only joy she ever has is in gardening--she enjoys seeing the new life it brings. But then she is reminded of her losses and leaves the fresh vegetables to rot like she is.
Gentleman C, years later and still taking care of his mother--though from a separate apartment now, still has that urge. He knows it would kill his mother if he let it out again, so he uses alternative rock as a release for his pent-up energy. He occasionally still wears his Levi 501s--the very same pants he was wearing the day of his exciting romp--in hopes his lover may one day return.
And he did! The lover did return! At approximately 7:45 on a Monday morning, [Johnny] finally found the house that his long lost lover had moved to. It had taken him years of searching to find it, but finally he did. [Johnny] was nervous about what he'd actually say when he saw Gentleman C. It had been years since their afternoon fun together. As he stood on the porch trying to decide what to say, a girl suddenly appeared. A pretty, young girl. Who was this girl? Had Gentleman C married a female? Shocked and taken aback, [Johnny] could not think of a good excuse to say to the girl as he hurried off the porch. He did not want to give away his identity. That day, as he left afraid he had lost his soul mate for good, a part of him died.
So, will Gentleman C ever find out that his lover did, in fact, come looking for him? Will [Johnny] ever realize that the pretty girl is not Gentleman C's wife? Only time will tell...
On a side note, there was one particular night shortly after the newlyweds moved into the Hodge-Cook house, that Taz was out for the evening and bumped into one nine-month old Beagle. It was in the garden when the two first noticed each other. Taz had first assumed the rustling leaves were from his moppy-headed cousin. Excited to see this cute beagle instead, the two embarked on their own night of fun. It wasn't until hours after the late-night hump that Taz discovered that this beagle, Peanut, had given her the mange. The mange!! He hadn't even told her. And so, Taz remains afflicted by the beagle--determined to never speak to him again.
Very creative stories! I find it interesting that both stories describe Gentleman C as gay. I don't believe that was mentioned in the original description. And why bring peanut into it? Peanut is just a respectable little beagle. Nothing but a true southern belle. She's not a little floozy.
Floozy is a funny word due to the double O followed by the letter Z and Y
hmmmm...quick question for _The_Analyst:
Is Peanut a boy or a girl??
Peanut is a very respectable and ladylike girl. AND, she is spayed and has no interest in sexual activity. She is nun-like in her virtuosity.
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