Happy New Year!

"Plump is the New Fat" is being published in my school's nonfiction journal; I survived my group assignment but picked up a creepy secret admirer in the process; I decided to paint the dining room red, or, to be more exact, "raspberry truffle"; I got a new dog--Pumpkin, the Quizzical Puppydog; I started listening to David Sedaris books on tape because he effectively drowns out the voices in my head; I decided I might like to teach composition, but I'm not getting all excited about it because I might suck at teaching; I started flossing and taking vitamins; my optometrist tried to scare me straight by telling me that new capillaries are growing in my eyeballs because I wear my contacts at night. After a week of taking them out every night, I returned for my follow-up visit, at which time he told me my eyes were miraculously better, and I was now cleared to wear contacts for another year. I'm calling bullshit--I had run out of contacts 3 weeks before my first visit and had been wearing glasses full-time, so there's no way that an additional week of part-time contact wearing would cause my eyes to be magically better. But anyway, I take my contacts out about every 3rd night now. Which is a major improvement over wearing them for 45-60 days straight. Oh, and also I cooked two meals in one week last week, and one of the meals was soup, which is the meal that just keeps on giving until you're sick to death of eating soup, but you know you've got to finish it because there are starving children in Euthanasia, so then you start foisting the soup off on anyone who stops by your house. So really, that's like 10 meals. We only ate out one time last week. So you should be impressed.

That's basically it, since the last time we talked.

What's up with you?